Chronic Pain

Many don’t know that I deal with a chronic pain condition. I don’t let it stop me and it’s invisible. I don’t speak of it often because the actual condition that causes the pain is socially taboo. Someday I will work up the courage to speak about it and say to hell with social taboo’s, but for today I will let it remain unnamed.  

Simply put – chronic pain sucks!  

Most days my pain is at a 1 or 2. But when I’m in a flare the pain can range from a 5-8 and it’s constant, it’s distracting, and there is nothing the doctors can prescribe to help it.  

I visited the doctor today. The nurse was perplexed, hemming and hawing, scrunching her eyes, and oblivious to how her body language spoke doubt and disbelief to me. The physicans assistant that saw me was much more controlled in her body language and her tone was caring, but I still walked out having heard “everything appears normal, there are no visible signs to indicate a flare.” 

I walked to my car discouraged. I sat in my car and cried silent and alone.  I came home to share with my husband that even though I say I’m in pain there is no signs to justify it – praying to God that Jeremy believes me and doesn’t think I’m faking it (he doesn’t).  

Basically, I just feel alone, frustrated, and discouraged. How can I treat a condition that has no known cause and can flare but the doctors can’t see it. 

Just remember everyone has a battle they are fighting, sometimes it may not be seen or spoke of, but it’s there lingering beneath the surface. Be kind, be joyful, show compassion, show love. 

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7 Comments on “Chronic Pain”

  1. Kelley says:

    I love that we are cousins and I know that we were taught to share with each other, but I hate that we share these things. Im so greatful you have someone who believes you! I hope your feeling better!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wende says:

    My heart goes out to you. Chronic pain that is not visible to others brings with it a whole level of emotional pain no one will ever understand either. Your pain is real. Those of us who also live with “invisible” chronic pain understand. You are not alone. I don’t know your history, but keep looking for a doctor who understands your disease. Praying for you. 🙏💜

    Like

    • Thank you Wende. It is an experience once can sympathize with but can’t truly empathize with unless they’ve been through it themselves. I appreciate it when people up open to share that they also struggle. I’m on the hunt for a physical therapist that specializes in my condition and think I have found one right here in Maple Grove.

      Like

  3. Marnie Baker says:

    That’s what makes it hard for the one with chronic pain, and the ones who love them. Everyone’s pain is unique. Whether from a well known cause, or the rarest disease. We can hardly describe it ourselves, so we feel how can anyone else understand. It becomes a part of us. A part we often hate. When we hear those awful words from our doctor, “nothing is showing up in the labs” we can’t help but feel like we’ve lost. Lost it all. At these times, we have to remember, we must remember; we are more than our pain. You are more than your pain. And you are loved.

    Liked by 1 person


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